Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Bare to Breakers

WARNING: Mentions and images of nudity to follow...

There are so many, many reasons why I am glad I live in San Francisco. The first one is that this fellow is not my dad.
Look closely at the man with the backpack and the yellow hat.

That’s right. He has no pants.

He is not an attractive man. He is not a fit man. It wasn’t even that chilly a morning, but I saw him from the front, and he was not even a well-endowed man. But, by God, he is proud to be a Naked American.

This weekend was the annual Bay to Breakers race here in Freak City, USA, where some people race, some people suit up as Superman and other people man out in their birthday suits. We saw people dressed as storm troopers, centurians, hookers (at least I think they were in costume), the little crazy fellow from Twelve Galaxies, superheros, and the crazy people dressed as salmon who run upstream against the current, spawning, so to speak.
But there were a lot of folks getting sunburn on their wobbly bits. Oooh! Painful!
I was discussing this phenomena with my sister and she brought up some interesting...er, points. First, if you were a man, wouldn’t you be embarrassed if the day was cold and rainy, and things were…small? Or WORSE, what if you took a fancy to the naked female jogger bobbing along beside you, and things started to “happen?”
Well, Dear Sister, I can assure you now, since I have seen and taken note. There is nothing attractive about these people. Sweaty naked people in athletic socks…NOT HOT!

You’ve gotta love The Crazy.

18 comments:

Stepping Over the Junk said...

are we actually looking at PENISES????

Jemima said...

I guess that's what they are. They were a little worse for wear after 12K.

Robert Payne said...

All outies and no innies - what's up with that? Didn't anybody take their kitty out for a walk? ;~)

Jemima said...

Clearly you didn't look too hard at the third photo from the bottom. Quite an impressive pair of droopers on that one.

Jill said...

Okay that is just not PRETTY. But did I look away? No, I couldn't. It's like a train wreck ...

Nancy said...

Nice comeback post! Scary!

Operation Pink Herring said...

Wait, is it LEGAL to walk around naked in public? Also, I can tell you from experience that running without proper undergarments is extremely uncomfortable. These people are really, really nuts. And it's totally awesome.

what I really love is the two women chatting in the picture with the boobs. THey're just walking along, having a merry time, NOT LOOKING AT THE NAKED PEOPLE NEXT TO THEM. How? How do you not look at that?

theflyingmum said...

We have "The Progression of the Species" up here where I live. No naked people, but the salmon folks would fit right in.

The Sorority said...

How did your eyes not melt out of your head? Wait - I looked at all the pictures and that didn't happen to me. Although I did throw up in my mouth a bit.

That is quite the collection of limpness and droopiness. I realize that they are proud to be Naked Americans but seriously - look down, no one EVER needs to see that in public!

Marcheline said...

*burp*

Kelly Love said...

That. Is. So. Wrong. And it makes me want to move to SF. I just can't see that same crowd parading down Broad Street. Unless, of course, the Daughters of the Confederacy were involved. Those chicks can do ANYTHING!

Isabel said...

To answer Operation Pink Herring...I guess it is legal. Just as long as nobody complains. By the looks of it...nobody was complaining.

I just love how everyone around them acts like it's no big deal THAT THEY ARE STANDING NEXT TO NAKED PEOPLE!

And also, have these people never heard of a razor. Or a bikini wax? Gag!

Maya said...

Not. Good. Naked. That is the definition of "Bad Naked". Yuck!

avujep said...

In June 1972 the California Supreme Court ruled that public nudity was not illegal provided there was no display of sexual behavior.

Under local jurisdictions since the ruling, the approach taken has been to pass antinudity ordinances which look at public nudity as a public nuisance matter, such laws typically being applied only upon complaint by a citizen. The penalties are commonly fines, like traffic tickets.

Anonymous said...

Get over yourselves. Sorry that real naked people aren't airbrushed and made-up like the pics you download from pornoland. People have droopy parts, aren't always hot young things in the 20s, and enjoy being out in the world and in the buff.

Here's some advice for everyone - quit looking at porno for a week. Where you were going to look at porno, look at pics from a nude beach, nudist camp, or mixed settings such as this. And not just the youthful firm bodies this time. Include the middle-aged folk such as here in your browsing. Go, do that. I'll wait.

[a week passes]

See the pics above these comments? Not so horrible to look at anymore, are they? Who knows, maybe you might be growing up and won't scream bloody murder next time someone not on the cover of People decides to just let their nads hang on a walk.

Anonymous said...

Stumbled across this blog by chance while trying to get some more info on B2B. Thank you, previous Anonymous poster for your excellent comment.

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