Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Take a stick of butter

Thanks for all of the pat-pats. I definitely needed them. Fortunately Simons came home last night, took one look at my face, which had crumpled off in despair and was lying on the floor moaning, and hied himself off to the grocery to purchase a rather large block of manchego (mmmm....cheese) and a reasonably priced bottle of cabernet. He even watched Steel Magnolias with me, although the generosity of his gesture was somewhat marred by his heartless remarks about, "Behold, the magnolias are gathering around the grave. They are made of steel." Sadly, smacking him isn't as effective as smacking the dog.

Today is an improvement, even though the first thing I did was pour the pot of coffee into the sugar bowl. I can tell that I feel better, since I didn't cry, but sort of gave a muffled giggle, before giving up on pouring and instead applying the coffee pot directly to my lips.

I did send a mockup newsletter to the oncology people, so maybe they will hire me after all. If not, I can always claim mental retardation and say that they are not an equal opportunity employer and sue. Believe me, they totally think I am disabled. I'm surprised the woman could even hear me over the wind whistling between my ears. I may even have used the word, "thingy," since proper diction was just not happening for me. And if she happened to hear the dog vomiting in the background, she will have marked "Gross" as well as "Stupid" on my resume and set the whole thing on fire.

In better news, Simons and I are heading down to the Castro tonight for some Halloween action. Simons is a little nervous that Hot Gay Steve is putting the "weenie" in Halloween, after he told a droll little story about going out on Saturday in naught but a pair of lacy girl's panties. Simons doesn't care so much on principle what Steve wears, but he seems a tad uneasy with that image of his friend being burned into his brain forever and ever amen. But a Castro Halloween will probably be quite dramatic, and I'm certainly looking forward to getting THE HELL OUT OF THIS APARTMENT! Somehow i have forgotten to arrange for a costume, so I'm going to see if the old debutante dress will fit over my enormous arse (doubtful) and will slap on the old tiara and go as a deb. Everyone else will be much sluttier than I, since all costumes these days look like Paris Hilton going to church, but it can't be helped. I'm too old to be slutty anymore. Where are my teeth?

Anyway, I have redeemed myself after the chicken pie debacle, and have wrought the most beautiful little sweet potato biscuits (with hame) ever and am eating one (several) right now with butter dripping off one knuckle. So delicious. So filled with yummy calories. Nothing like butter to cheer one's soul.


Anonymous said...

You'd think I'd learned my lesson about commenting on your posts while eating lunch, but...

Anyway. Yay for Simons making it almost right with the whine & cheese (pun abso-effin'-lutely intended)and watching one of the best chick flicks EVER (filmed here, by the way). Fingers & toesies are crossed that the mockup just blows them away and they come a-groveling!

You might want to let The Dog know just how lucky (he/she?) is to not have me for an owner...congrats on your restraint!

barbie2be said...

did you say sweet potato biscuits? dripping with butter? YUM!

i have just added a picture of the cake. :)

Charlie said...

Glad you're feeling better. Halloween in SF has GOT to be fun. Your camping trip sounded like my own personal hell. And as a fellow Southerner...you're totally right, a stick of butter can solve a world of problems.

Ok, nominate this for most random string of comments, ever.

barbie2be said...

and oh yeah... did i mention that steel mag's is one of my all time favorite movies? :)

Nothing But Bonfires said...

Sometimes I think I could honestly just dip a spoon into the butter dish and and then lick all that fatty goodness off the spoon STRAIGHT, with no prissy accompaniments of TOAST or anything. Kind of like people do with canned frosting. Or maybe I could use butter as a dip. But then not dip things into it. Except my fingers.

Marcheline said...

Your teeth, Jem? They're right behind that big piece of hame.

HAAHHAhaaaa *snort*

- M

Marcheline said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.