Thursday, September 14, 2006


The truck is packed, and by packed, I mean that we are a bunch of ridiculously materialistic needy Eurocentric bastards. I can't believe how much crap we have and are unwilling to part with. We finally quit loading yesterday after we started hurting ourselves, dropping stuff on our feet and running into things. That happens to me all the time, but it's kind of unusual for Simons.

I've just finished packing the random assortment of crap leftover in the dumping ground formely known as The Kitchen. Let's see, one box has:

Dryer sheets
baboon skull
one random piece of wood
a suitcase strap
one can crushed pineapple
one can cocoa lopez (all we need is rum)
bathing suit cleaner
one subwoofer
one tweeter (I had to ask Simons what these were)
glass star on chain
Boys Are Stupid coffee mug
chair cushion
conch shell
jar peanut butter

What the hell?

Things I have left to do:
Buy Doggles for Beulah, the dog who is in a permanent decline now, from all this packing.
I'm also stopping by Whole Foods to get her some calming drops.
Then I have to go to the pharmacy
The jewelry store to repair some stuff and buy a wedding present
The post office to send the wedding present
The effing Comcast store that is in BF North Charleston, to return the modem
And some other places I can't remember right now.

Gah! We're never getting out of here!


Wordnerd said...

Whatever you do, make sure you remember where you put the baboon skull--you don't want to have to go thru every single box to find your most important stuff!

Matt said...

Dude! Especially the random peice of wood!

Matt said...

OMG! Sorry... piece... (idiotidiotidiot!)

barbie2be said...

personally, i think you ought to carry that can of cocoa lopez with you.

you might pass a liquor store on the way!

NothingButBonfires said...

We dropped our modem off in that goddamn place in North Charleston RIGHT before we left for the cross-country jaunt, pulling our big truck into that teeny parking lot, all covered in box dust and sweat and grossness. When I walked in, modem held aloft, they looked at me with their noses turned up as if I was carrying a tray of used kitty litter, and this is NORTH CHARLESTON, so the standards aren't particularly high.

I hear there's a place you can do it in Mount Pleasant though. If that helps. Which it might.

Marcheline said...

The packing list for the kitchen box you just described is nearly IDENTICAL to the stuff I packed when I moved the 7th time, was it? I had an antelope skull, a gargoyle, a dried armadillo, several half used sage smudge sticks, pottery that I made in college, a wicker heart-shaped basket given to me by my favorite aunt... and the list goes on.

It's a given that by the end of your packing spree, all hope of order and division of items by use or by style is gone. Just cram whatever shit will fit wherever, and hope it all fits in the truck!

Good luck, Jem. We're all pulling for you guys.

P.S. If Beulah doesn't use all of her calming drops, perhaps you could take a snort or two 8-)

- M

roo said...

Can you drink the cocoa lopez out of the baboon's skull?

Jemima said...

Roo, now why didn't I think of that?