Monday, August 07, 2006

Al and Jemima Go To (Paris) Market

This weekend, Beulah Buckethead and I took a trip down to Savannah to see our long lost Aloysius. I was so excited to see her/get out of town/have some girl time, but I must say that around noon on Friday, I was already missing my sweet Simons.

“Dear Simons, Your crackhead wife is already missing you, and I’m only going to be gone two days and had coffee with you four hours ago. Clearly I am totally dependent and clingy and you are having an affair with your secretary.”

“Dear Jemima, I have a secretary? Sweet! Is she hot?”

“Dear Husband, NO! She’s fat and hairy with a wart!”

“Dear Wife. Bummer.”

I pulled into Al’s driveway, rang the bell 62 times per second and got her dogs completely out of control before she’d even finished her doorbell heart attack. Then we abandoned Ian to the pack of wild dogs before fleeing to eat crab legs on Tybee Island. I forgot to bring my camera out there, or else you’d have photographic evidence of the toothless wonders hitting on us at the crab shack. Um, Aloysius, that guy with the red T-shirt....HSTITY! Ian and Simons better WATCH OUT, because we are hot shit out there at Café Loco.

We had enormous fun dishing about work and fashion and boys and weddings and other things that suck. Al gave me tons of advice on freelancing and moving and I gave her pep talks about weddings and the fine line between drug dependency and necessary xanax usage. And we drank beer, that marvelous Cure-All to a rotten week of slaving and under-appreciation. After the music got too cool for us, we went home and showed our age by falling asleep mid-way through Letterman. I did get her to try on her new wedding dress (I have pictures, and no, you can’t see them), which was so beautiful and makes her look like a stick insect with a C-cup. Bitch.

And the next day! Oh my God, the next day was so fun. The shops there are so much cooler than here, and my favorite was @Home, this awesome vintage home store, and I am so in love with all of their paper stuff. If there are notepads, cards and stationery, it’s a sure bet I will buy something, despite the $30 a polka dot pricetag. This place had report cards for different kinds of people, such as the Hysteric (me) and Lover/Spouse (Simons got a D- for Fidelity after having an affair with his fat, hairy wart-ridden secretary) and old grocery lists pads you stick on the fridge, and even a Pro/Con list pad for people who have to fret and worry and second guess themselves and analyze every decision for a million years. I have to make split second decisions to avoid giving myself an ulcer deciding on lunch. This way, I can leave my decisions lying around the house for the dog to eat.

We got to visit the new Jepson Center, which had Simons committing acts of wild gesticulation and pulling out sketch pads to show me I-beams and light patterns and rolling his eyes and frothing. So I was prepared for it to be cool, but I SO did not totally grasp its full awesomeness until we got there. Here’s Al and me in front.

This is the inside.

I wasn’t supposed to take pictures outside of the lobby...but I did! Here is us with Polynesian tattoos and here is this fun webcam thingy.

Savannah, the land of a thousand Jemimas.

Al and I went to eat chocolate at a nearby café. Here is Al eating what looks like a tiny African American nipple.

No wonder she looks so frightened.

I stayed at my old friend Lisa’s house the next night, which is in one of those neighborhoods with the old brick houses and green parks and wrought iron gates. Beulah and I went for a 6 am run on Sunday down through Daffin Park. I loooooved the whole morning, pretending I lived in the houses and how I would plant differently and sit on my front porch and drink my beer and eat cupcakes every Saturday. Maybe I will move there after I move to San Francisco.

Once it got good and hot, Aleigh, Lisa and I sat at the Yacht Club by the pool, watching the large boats and applying 45 and adjusting our enormous sunhats. Notice there are no pictures of that. You can thank me later.

Home Again

Simons and I spent last night eating shrimp and grits with churrizo and lounging on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy and being boring and snuggly. Then he drew the layout for his rental house yard project while I took pictures. Here’s us being boring and drawing.

Here’s me eating his brains.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how quickly you can miss the bastards, isn't it?