Monday, July 31, 2006

Day of Wretchedness

God, I’m having a crappy day. I had to go feed a friend’s weasels this morning, and now I feel like I smell like a nasty mixture of ferret and her cheapass faux apple room spray that is making me want to hurl. It’s like it’s coming out of my pores, and I want to go to the beach and scritch around like a dog in the sand until I am exfoliated of weasel. Blech.

And all of my interview contacts are falling through, which sucks, because these reporters are on deadline. Kill. Me.

And still...I smell like apple weasel.

A Later Note:
Day Improved but eau de ferret did not.

A Still Later Note:
To all those who don't know what a "nub" is, voila!

A nub, attached to the butt of one Beaulah Buckethead Devildog. It is very wagsome and jolly. Sometimes Simons and I sing about her nub, ie, "Can't buy me nuuuub!" "Let nub rule!" Or even, "I was made for nubbin you, baby. You were made for nubbin me." See, I am all cheered up after my crappy smelly day. All you need is nub.


Marcheline said...

May I be the first of many to congratulate you for using the words "weasel" and "scritch" in the same post. I nearly snorted my morning coffee - thanks!

Thanks for the "nub" pictorial - things are much clearer now...

And what about:

"Nub in an el-e-VAY-tor.... nubbin' it up when I'm goin' down...."

"Nub-a-dub-dub, one dog in a tub"

"If you nub someone, let them go..."

"I don't want no nub, a nub is a guy that can't get no nub from me..."

"You nub me the right way, baby"

Okay, okay- I'll stop now.

- M

roo said...

Or then there's Buckwheat's favorite: "Wookin' Pa Nub (In Aw Da Wong Paces)"

Apple Weasel sounds like some sort of German-American baked dessert...

CharlestonGirl said...

Roo completely beat me to it! Thanks for clearing up what nub you were talking about! I was totally down the Buckwheat trail!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm..."Apple Weasel." Another of the lovely fragrances available in our dead sea salt scrubs, now at your retailer...