Thursday, July 20, 2006

Bridal Blog

How was the wedding?

Gorgeous, romantic, fabulous. I don’t have the professional photos yet, but here are a few from friends and family:

The Portrait:

It’s the Amsale Sash Dress. Isn’t it gorgeous? Architecturally minimalist, modern, unexpected and slightly different with its blue, blue sash. I chose a dress just like Simons! The photo was taken at the plantation where Simons proposed, and Nothing But Bonfires' sweet boyfriend did the portraits. He's talented, hire him!

But really, ordering my own dress was a breeze compared with something really hard, like picking out the bridesmaids’ dresses. Words of advice to anyone ever getting married: Bridesmaids dresses will all turn out looking bridesmaidy, so forget finding “something they can wear again.” That will never happen.

They will say something like, “Well if I’d have known the horror you were going to end up with, I’d have kept my mouth shut about the orange.” Or “Well, I’m going to have to dye my hair red, because gold washes me out.” Or “Gold makes me look like a maid.” Really, don’t ask for opinions. Don’t try to be nice. Just pick them. Everyone will be happier, most of all you.

Another bit of advice: pick bridesmaids who are pregnant. Ignore those stupid etiquette books that advise you to gently replace expectant mothers as maids, because whoever wrote them has zero foresight. It’s an excellent tactic, since for every pound you lose, they gain two! Cluster them around you and make them stand sideways! Hell, have them give birth at the altar and combine the services with a christening. The more pregnant the better!

The day of the wedding arrived, and whether they liked their bridesmaids frocks or not, my friends all looked gorgeous. And as my sister buttoned my dress in my parents’ living room, the place of Christmas trees and parties and illicit napping on the fancy down sofa, the tears emerged and everyone wept in a most gratifying fashion.

I felt beautiful in it, but I think I would have felt beautiful in sackcloth that night. The things I remember were my father getting flustered and fumbling the handoff, the three little flowergirls scluffing their feet on the altar railing and making me laugh, stealing my grandmother’s handkerchief back from my sister during the Lord’s Prayer when no one was looking (I had the most vile sinus infection that started that morning, and grandmomma’s hemstitched hanky was not designed for serious business).

[Jemima and Aloysius at the rehearsal]

I loved that Aloysius cried reading Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116, and that a mockingbird was singing during the vows. Everyone was so surprised that Simons was so loud and self-assured during the vows, while I trembled and whispered and nearly fainted. Seriously, my rosemary stems were waving with nerves. The bouquets were heavenly, and IF the bridesmaids hadn’t lost them after the reception, they could definitely have thrown them into a pot and cooked with them. The symbolism was all from Shakespeare and Milton, and they couldn’t have smelled or looked prettier.

Rosemary- for remembrance
Sage- virtue and esteem
Lavender- best wishes
Myrtle- a symbol of love and fertility
Ivy- friendship
Globe amaranth- unfading love
Mint- virtue
White Roses- love and simplicity
Thyme- courage, energy

My sister cried the second the bagpiper started the processional, which is EXACTLY what I did at her wedding ten years ago, when I SWORE all along I never would. I’m not a crier. But she had her wedding at Christmas, and my Dad had gotten the children’s choir of St Philip’s to sing, and the church was all lit up and decorated with red poinsettias and green garlands with gold ribbons, so it was very rich and romantic. Mine was more simple, country-church, but then the reception was very grand.

I never saw the food, but apparently it was there: gazpacho shooters, crab claws, shrimp and churrizo skewers, Serrano ham and sweet potato biscuits (about 1200 of them, all made by my mother because they’re my favorite), and smoked duck and marinated beef tenderloin. I would have liked to have tried it, because I was so hungry and sick when we got to the hotel, we sat on the bed and tore into the picnic like marooned sailors. Hanky panky had to wait!

I barely remember the first dance, so we needn’t have made such a trial of the song beforehand. But the Blue Dogs were fabulous, and if they ever play in your neck of the woods, prepare yourself for a good time. The cake was a blur, and what a weird little ceremony that is. Do you have any idea how hard it is to cut a cake that big (where, what tier, what if it isn’t the flavor you want?) and not dump crumbs all over your dress? And you get cake in your teeth, and since you’re smiling like a madwoman, it looks like you’re missing a tooth. Ick.

OH! GET THIS! SOMEONE GOT SHOT AT, AT MY WEDDING! If that isn’t redneck, I don’t know what is. Apparently this little town in the middle of nowhere, near where the plantation was, has its own GANG. What the hell do they fight over? Trout rights? Deer shining territory? Anyway, my aunt and uncle missed the turn to the plantation and drove by the town hall and had their rear window shot out by a .22, which LODGED IN THE BABY SEAT! The baby was safe at home in Florida, but my GOD, what if...

Fortunately, I didn’t hear about any of that until the next day.

The honeymoon was wonderful, but that is a separate blog, and I’m going to get busted at work, so I have to go.


Alexandrialeigh said...

I may have to kill you for posting that picture on your blog. The horror! My tan lines!

Nothing But Bonfires said...

I cried all over again just READING that! It was so lovely. And we didn't LOSE our bouquets -- they were taken from us to make a pretty display around the cake! Perhaps we were supposed to take them back afterwards, I'm not sure, but they were gorgeous all the same. Also, your wedding CD is on CONSTANT repeat on my iPod. And I totally need to show you all my pictures. I'll send you a CD with your birthday prez.

Hmm, maybe I should have just emailed this all to you instead of leaving it as a comment.

jes said...

The wedding sounds absolutely gorgeous - GORGEOUS.

barbie2be said...

oh, welcome back!!!! the wedding sounds like it was heavenly! you look absolutely stunning in your portrait!

roo said...

What a beautiful wedding! What a lovely bride! Congratulations!

Marcheline said...

Hey -

Nice touch, bagpipes and Sonnet 116 - I had those, too! My hubby played the bagpipes as he walked up to the outdoor altar, and a bagpipe band marched me and my entourage up to the altar afterward. My sister read Shakespeare's Sonnet 116.

It's magic. I'm glad you had a wonderful wedding... that portrait is too beautiful for words, so I'll shut up now.

Yay Jemima! Glad you're back.

- M