Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Wan and palely loitering



Since November I've had this really annoying pansy-assed little niggling cough. It's not deep and chesty and phlegmy...it's more of a “ahem....hem, hem” type weeny variety. Rather than inciting sympathetic looks from coworkers and fiancés, it makes people say, “Jesus! When they hell are you going to get rid of that cough?!”

So I went BACK to the allergist, who suggested they do a whole bunch of tests on me. I had to politely refer them back to January, when they charged me a whole bunch of money for the exact same tests...which showed absolutely nothing.

“Oh,” said the doctor.

So I am having new tests done. And in the meantime, I'm on a positive MEAL of medication: Clarinex, Zyrtec, Nasonex, Astelin, Mucinex and Singulair. From here on out, I want to be referred to as “that wan and palely loitering phantom, littering the pathways of life with Kleenex and punctuating the days with her sneezing.” Instead of chains, I shall wander the corridors of my house rattling my prescription bottles. I feel like I should be the invalid boy in the Secret Garden with the hunchback father and child mother.

Boo. BOO! I SAY!

It is particularly aggravating that I tried to encourage the doctor to just give me some steroids, since they worked like MAGIC last time, and I could feel better instantaneously, but apparently my doctor is a sadist and doesn't think that five months of near-constant suffering and woe is sufficient.

Is breathing really so much to ask? Apparently it is.

4 comments:

Alexandrialeigh said...

Confession: The photo you have in this post, from the Hallmark Hall of Fame version of The Secret Garden, probably filmed sometime in the late 80s, was when I was first introduced to Colin Firth.

I have had a crush on him ever since.

Oh, and I own that movie on DVD, too.

Nothing But Bonfires said...

Ask for valium. Won't cure the cough but will make everything seem A WHOLE LOT BETTER anyway.

barbie2be said...

oh Jemima... i have been through all that testing at well. i am going on 19 months of coughing. :( i hope something works for you before june!

you might get them to try checking for a hyital hernia. that supposedly sometimes causes it too. at least that is what my gastroentorologist claims.

Marcheline said...

barbie2be?? Now who would want a smooth, flat plastic crotch?

Besides Michael Jackson, I mean...