Thursday, January 05, 2006

Relationships

I just came back from my first run of the New Year with my friend Theresa. She had the nicest congratulations card for me, and we had such lovely girl talk on the route. She's seeing a new guy named Colby, who she's tremendously nervous and excited about. He just returned from Amsterdam for the holidays and called her within an hour of getting off the plane back in Charleston. I told her that seemed like an awfully clear sign. "He likes you. Oh yes, he does."

I've also been cautioning her against taking too much relationship advice from our friend Jill, whom I love, but is the poster child for disfunctional relationships. She will see a guy for a week and build it up in her head that they are destined to be together...and she's unstable enough to actually talk about it. One guy was going back to med school in DC, and she went up to visit after only two weeks of "dating" She made such a big deal out of visiting that he was probably panicked before she got there, and then she spent the entire trip and the following week analyzing TO HIM what it meant or should mean to their future. Needless to say, he didn't want to see her any more. Because that's not fun. Anyway, she repeats this scenario about five or six times a year, and it's just exhausting to listen to her. How can she be so undignified? Jill knows I care and worry about her, but she learned pretty quickly that I have no tolerance for that kind of drama. The second to last guy she dated dumped HER, then she called HIM and said he could have two weeks to think it over but maybe she wouldn't be waiting for him when he called. I don't remember whether I flat out called that dumb, but knowing me, I doubt that I minced words.

Anyway, Theresa has a good head on her shoulders, and I'm really excited for her about this guy. He seems like an honest, unspoiled sort...he always sounds really excited to talk to her. He brought her back something (no not drugs) from Amsterdam. Sounds like a good one. I remember very well the scary, fun, awkward first dating time with A.S. I wouldn't go back there for a million dollars, but I do remember it very fondly...the tentative looks across the table, him ASKING if he could kiss me, how dreadful that first kiss was (very toothy and uncomfortable angle). Awwww...

I told Theresa not to think about it too much, because it's pretty damned obvious that he likes her, but to enjoy Colby and take it as fast or slow as she wants (unlike Jill who said, "You have to be careful, Theresa. You just never know with men"). Theresa has a lot to offer and he's lucky to be dating her. I'm sure he realizes that too. She's great at making and appreciating friends, is an awesome marathon runner (we ran our first marathons together), has big travel plans, a cool job, a very cute dog. And she's extremely good looking...God, I wish I had her legs. And sanity. Let's never undervalue the importance of dating someone whose relationship expectations are based in reality.

Speaking of based in reality, A.S. and I are trying to decide where to live. I'm thinking...anywhere but here. And Detroit.

Ooh, there is the most amazing fuschia and deep purple sunrise going on right now, with all the church steeples in Charleston silhouetted against this brilliant orange horizon. Wow.

4 comments:

Nothing But Bonfires said...

When I read "and has big...." the last thing I expected to see on the next line was "travel plans."

Does this make me gross and dirty? A lesbian? A FRENCH lesbian?

Alexandrialeigh said...

I DEFINITELY think you should move to California. Because that would be an awesome place for me to come and visit. :)

But seriously, you must come visit ME before you and Simons move away! I'll be in the new house by the end of the month! How's your February shaping up?

Marcheline said...

I was beginning to think you were changing your mind and deciding to marry Theresa instead. The praise! The adoration! *wink*

Seriously, tho - must be great to have a good friend who you live close enough to to actually spend time with.

- M

Emily said...

Oh God, there is nowhere, NOWHERE worse than Detroit.

Except maybe West Virginia, where toothy awkward kissing is the norm. You know, what with all the bad oral hygiene they take pride in there.