Tuesday, January 17, 2006

If cleanliness is next to Godliness...

...then I'm going to hell.

How can there be a ROACH in my kitchen in fucking JANUARY, people? It was one of those tiny nasty ones that are almost more shocking than the tennis shoe sized ones we get around these parts. There it was, strolling around my kitchen table brazen as a ten cent whore.

"WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!?!?!?!?!"

Then I squizzed him with a Whole Foods receipt, which goes to show you that I am very brave AND that tree huggers can fight when cornered.

2 comments:

Marcheline said...

Darlin' - you live in an apartment building. Just because YOU keep a clean place doesn't mean that some bachelor pad elsewhere in the building isn't knee-deep in food crumbs.

One of the drawbacks of not dwelling in a standalone house...

Sorry about your little visitor! 8-(

- M

Jemima said...

Hmph. That's a likely explanation. My pissant next door neighbor who listens to Howard Stern in the bathroom (I can HEAR him) is most assuredly the culprit. He once had a flea infestation so bad, he wore flea collars on his ankles when he walked in the door. YIKES!

I swear the rest of the neighbors are pretty normal. Well, except for the Knocked Up Child Bride Hot Tub Bar Whore. She was pretty gross.