Monday, December 26, 2005

Sparkly: Long Version

So Friday morning, A.S. asked me if I would like to go the beach. Imagining my neighbor's beastly cur dog, which I am sitting for while the Sexy Attorney is in Guatemala, streaking down the beach, disrupting a dozen family picnics and causing a violent upheaval amongst the villagers, who would attack with pitchforks and torches, I said, "Hmmm, no?"

So we took sweet Little Belle and Daisy the possum dog to Dixie Plantation instead, since it was simply gorgeous outside, and my first day off in FOREVER. Leaving town, we had an issue of potential karmic backlash involving a bag of doritoes and a gas station attendant undercharging us...we had to turn around and go check the receipt in case she would have had to pay for it out of her measly earnings. She hadn't, which made the extra stop somewhat irritating for A.S., and then, what with all the turning around, Daisy got carsick and puked in the back of A.S.'s Outback. Belle looked horrified and leapt into the front seat and gave me the Twist Mouth for forcing her to sit back there with a vomiting cur in the first place.

Then we got stuck in traffic and A.S. started foaming at the mouth, which is really unusual for him. I'm normally the one swearing hysterically at other drivers and vibrating the steering wheel. Meanwhile, I sat there in the passenger seat, knitting and talking about the time when we broke up and rattling on about nonsense and tralalala. After all, it wasn't my car that got hurled in.

When we got there, I helped A.S. by holding up the rubber matt for him to rinse off, and the nastiness came right off. Only A.S. didn't wait for me to hold the matt away from me before rinsing, so it all ran into the toes of my running shoes, which was very chilly...and gross. Still, I didn't much care about all that, although A.S. was properly apologetic. I must have been in an extraordinarily zen mood.

At last, we tramped through the fallen leaves and watched as the dogs gamboled up the path ahead of us, frisking around merrily in the sunshine. We strolled along the avenue of oaks and chatted about San Francisco and Christmas presents and happy things. While the two pooches went for a swim in an old rice field and bounced through the cypress knees, A.S. had his arms around me, resting his chin on top of my shoulder. And before I knew it, he pulled out a red box with a diamond ring (three round brilliants in platinum) and then gently turned me around and asked me if I would marry him. And I said, "Oh my God!"

And then I said, "Yes!"

And then the dogs went forgotten and shivered in their wet coats while we gazed in mesmerized fascination at the ring and the trees and each other and asked a million questions.

A.S. Did you suspect?

Jemima: Not at all! You're very sneaky! Did you ask my dad?

Of course!

WHEN? When did you ask Daddy?

Yesterday, when I helped him clean up after my party.

That was smart. Was he nice to you?


Were you nervous?

Not as much as just now.

You didn't seem nervous. Were you afraid I'd say no?

That's what my mom asked.

No way!

Yeah, but I told her I was pretty sure you'd say yes.

Why were you nervous?

I don't know. It was a big moment. I actually almost forgot to say anything.

You did?

Here, let me try again. Will you marry me?


Oh. Good.

Hey, guess what!


We're getting married!

Holy crap!

You're my fiance!

You're MY fiance.

Were you mad I didn't want to go the beach?

No, not mad. But I had this whole spot picked out.

I would have gone. I feel so guilty.

Don't feel bad. This is a perfect spot. Hey...nice ring.

And so on, ad nauseum...

Then we went and had champagne at my parents' house, my neighbors' houses, his parents' houses, a Christmas party, at a Spanish wine bar (three bottles) and then peach moonshine when we got home. And it's been like that ever since...DRUNK!

Man, we have been drunk since Friday at 3:00 without ceasing, stopping go or collecting $200. He just came in from the dove field and asked me if I'd like to go to a half dozen Christmas parties, and then we both started cackling like morons. We're staying in tonight and grilling. And not drinking. Much.

I also went and looked at churches today with my mom and sister. For like...two years. I had two country churches in mind, and they were at opposite ends of the earth, so we were in the car for about four hours and peed in the woods about six times. I liked to think that I was marking my territory. So we're getting married June 10th, and there may be cows at my reception. SO THERE!


Nothing But Bonfires said...

I am totally crying. This is the most romantic thing EVER. Even the dog puke part is romantic! And the peeing in the woods!

A million congratulations to you both.

Alexandrialeigh said...

Oh my god, but you move fast! After CF proposed, you could've knocked me down with a feather for at least a week, I was so shocked!

Marcheline said...


Yay! More weddings! More romance! More dog puke! Heh... just kidding about that last part.

How great is that!

- M

barbie2be said...

people, people.... you say congratulations to the man. to the woman you say best wishes... so best wishes, Jemima!

roo said...