Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Dog and I...

...are sitting on my newly upholstered couch watching Two Towers and lusting after Aragorn. Well, I know am. She's just tending to her personal hygiene, which leads me to believe she is also.

Why does Liv Tyler speak in this dramatic whisper for the entire trilogy? I love her, and she's a hot elf, but she does overdo the whisper. And Elrond is and will always be Agent Smith from the Matrix, no matter how many elves he plays. I keep expecting him to say, "How can you french my daughter, Mr. Aragorn, if you have no mouth?"

And Cate Blanchett just sucks in these movies. It's like listening to Cher sing with that crazy electronic booster. It's. Just. Not. Real.

Got up and went on a 8 mile run with the CTO and his wife, and it was cold as a witch's left tit in a brass bra at the bottom of a thirty foot well on the north end of an iceberg. Jesus, it was cold. Coming across the Cooper River Bridge, you could actually lean on the Arctic headwind. Starbucks has never tasted so good.

Then I came home and started the cleaning again. Vacuumed, mopped, dusted, took everything off of every shelf and cleaned it all, cleaned the curtains, washed the blankets...I even cloroxed the damned walls. And guess what, I still feel gross. Maybe all that vacuuming just stirs up the mold and dust mites and whatnot. My apartment is like the snow globe of allergens, dammit. The doctor is seeing me first thing tomorrow, and I think I'm going to collapse sobbing on her feet and beg her to do something. ANYthing!

And I HATE cleaning.

Actually, to tell you the trust, it still doesn't look all that tidy in here. Heh. That's kind of funny actually. The futility of cleaning.

I finished A.S.'s scarf yesterday, but I've forgotten how to cast off, so I have to wait until Tuesday to take it to the nice Knit ladies to help me, because they're CLOSED Sundays and Mondays. CLOSED! (drawn out wail of dispair) And I have to buy some more yarn to do the fringe, and I can't remember how to do that either. Amazing how the mind goes. But I hate waiting! I'm so close to being completely done with it, and now I have to wait. Boo.

With what little sense of smell I have left, my simmering pot of split pea soup smells awfully good. I wish it was done now.


Nothing But Bonfires said...

I'm not quite sure of the dramatic whisper you're talking about as I've never watched Lord of the Rings (Lord of the Rings, right? Is that what we're talking about? See, I don't even know....) but have you noticed that Tyra Banks ALSO does a dramatic whisper at the end of America's Next Top Model when she's sending people home? It's so RANDOM. She doesn't do it throughout the whole show, but she does it then. It's so.....dramatic. And whispery.

jaz said...

You jog across The New Bridge? You're my hero.

There is this stuff the docs can givey ou called... Nasocort or something... you spray it up your nostrils, which sounds gross, but it really works well (for allergic reactions secondary to the inhalation of allergens, that is...)

Alexandrialeigh said...

Are you dog-sitting, or did you get a dog?

And for what it's worth, I think your apartment always looks awesome. It's much neater than mine, even when you think it's "messy."

Jemima said...

God, Tyra's Judgement Voice is almost more than I can stomach. She gets too mysterious...I guess it's her way of keeping a poker face. But then I haven't watched it since they kicked of the lesbian.

And no, Al, no new dog. Just Little Belle, stolen from the arms of her family.