Friday, May 27, 2005


No dice.

Doctor says I have to keep this vacuum thing on through Tuesday at the least and will look at it then and decide if it can come off. So I get to enjoy the croaking albatross for the entire holiday weekend. Joy.

Why the fuck is this such a big deal? It's a FOOT! You know, if this were a gunshot wound, I might understand. But it's not. It's a goddamn measly foot, and I can't do a fucking thing without it. @#$%^&*!!!!

I was so bummed, I was [--] this close to crying in the doctor's office, which is just too humiliating. I asked him I could take the vac out in the boat and he said no to that too. So while everyone else goes out in the salt air and sunshine (and swims and water skis and trots around on the sandbank), I get to sit. On the porch. And do nothing. Some more.

A.S. will be nice about it I'm sure, but I don't think he can take much more. I know I can't. And I'm hoping against hope that his evil friends J&J, this cutesy mod couple who are about the WORST friends known to man, aren't going to come out to the country to join us. They're in town for a wedding, and he asked me to go out with them tonight and I declined...somewhat politely. Well, very politely but probably too quickly. Anyway, they probably won't call him, because they're THOSE types of friends. All they do is bail on people and mooch and are so shallow and boring. They don't DO anything. (I'm not really one to talk at the moment, I know.) Really, they have no hobbies or interests or wit. All she can talk about is shoes, which is super interesting for about 2 minutes. And I'm sure they'd make me feel really embarrassed over having this gnarly vacuum thing and they can just fuck off and go to hell.

A.S. can invite the entire world to the country house for the weekend, just please not them. And I mean that. In fact, I hope he does invite a crowd, because then I won't be obligated to be cheery and upbeat the whole time and can read my magazines (Thanks Sexy Attorney!) and my new books in guilt-free peace. I almost wish he were going without me so I could stop feeling guilty for being needy and dependent. Maybe I should come down with something...

In better news, since I was out already, I went and ate lunch with my parents at this outdoor restaurant. The waiters were horrified by my tubing, but to hell with them. I was OUTSIDE! And my dad took me to Barnes & Noble, where I got the first of two collected plays of Neil Simon and the new book by Sue Monk Kidd, The Mermaid Chair. I loved her first book, The Secret Life of Bees soooo much, I never wanted to finish it. And then I went to the spa store and bought some more of my favorite shampoo and conditioner: Aveda Rosemary Mint with Sap Moss conditioner. The big bottles with the pumps. And this delicious lip and face sunscreen with sparkly gold powdery stuff. Yum. Today cost me about $150, but since i haven't bought anything in years and years, I thought I deserved it. The rest of my earnings must be spent on foot related medical business, so I might as well have something I can actually enjoy.


Alexandrialeigh said...

When I was six, I fell off the monkey bars at school (in April) and broke my wrist. I lived in Charleston then, so for the ENTIRE SUMMER I had a cast on my arm that stunk and itched and I couldn't even go swimming. That was truly the worst summer of my entire life.

Way worse than the Halloween when I was five and I couldn't go trick-or-treating because I had the chicken pox. And I thought I was going to die for want. Oh, the agony.

Marcheline said...

I had no idea SMK had a new book out! Oh, joy! Hopefully my library will get it soon, because we're on austerity budgeting around here lately. If you think you're the only one who is home, bored, and restless, you gotta come read my blog. Holy shit.

Hope you're better soon - the beach will still be there when you get better, don't worry! Unless Bush starts WWIII early and the planet gets nuked - but then we won't really care, will we? We'll be too busy running and screaming while we melt.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! 8-)