Thursday, February 03, 2005

creepy

He Who Must Remain Nameless (see Dooce) is really starting to creep me out. He walks behind my chair, presumably reading over my shoulder, and asks how my stories are coming... and then doesn't leave. He just stands there with nothing to say. And I'm sitting here with this giant question mark over my head, like "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME???? I'LL GIVE ANYTHING! JUST GO AWAY!!!"

It's kind of like in college when you've smoked things you shouldn't before Thanksgiving dinner and have to make decent conversation with your tedious uncle so-and-so without letting on that you have no idea what he's talking about and are just rambling in a frantic attempt to appear not stoned. Actually, I do that when public speaking too. Not get stoned- just ramble with absolutely no point. Public speaking gives me fear-induced gastroenteritis. This is why I am a writer.

Anyway, this is very awkward. I wonder if he is bored or lonely or just lacking in social skills. But this madness must cease.

4 comments:

Kickball Superstar said...

Good girl! Code names are good, you don't wanna get Dooced! Although, all that free time would allow you to write all the stories you're sitting on. They're the more fun stories anyway, right?

I mean, interviewing kickballers is dreamy, ain't it?

Kelly Love said...

Doesn't it make you miss having the Editor-who-cries-in-her-office-with-the-door-closed?

The over the shoulder thing freaks me out too. I suggest pulling up medical web sites with graphic images of skin conditions. Or photos from Carnie Wilson's weight loss surgery.

Jemima said...

Ohmigod, I just snorted horribly. How embarrassing. Send me a link to Carnie's nasty surgical pictures and I'll pull it up at random when he creeps past. He would be so much less nervy if he didn't whisper all the time. And he only ever talks to you in his office, with the door closed, which is extremely secretive IMHO. Ooh, I think I will call him The Nerve from now on.

Kelly Love said...

She doesn't have them on her site anymore! Here's a good one though: Type "skin condition" into the Google image search. You'll get lots of good ones. You might want to skip lunch though...